Real life has gotten so amazing that I sometimes don't even want to turn the computer on.
IM SORRY, WHAT??
Does anyone have anyone in their lives whose opinion they value more than anything else? Who means the world to you, but not in the romantic sense. Sort of a role model and best friend and older sibling all at the same time. Who totally and completely gets you, and can sum up your life in about a sentence. Who you can never feel properly mad at, and who really cares about you, and how you feel, and bothers to ask how your day is going, and shows up early in the morning on your birthday, and makes it the best day ever because they know they can't be there later on in the day.
And who you care about exactly the same way back.
Has anyone ever legitimately missed anyone? I've always been fine with myself, never really actually longed to see anyone. It hurts to miss people. I don't think I want to. Ever. I wish I had the power to choose not to.
Sometimes certain people worm their way into your heart, and there is so much care that suddenly shows up in your life. Not love, or friendship, or mothering, just pure, raw care. Someone saying to you that they care is better than anything I can possibly imagine.
But no matter how much time you spend with them, it's never enough. Sometimes five minute feels like an hour, and 4 hours feels like 10 minutes.
It's really amazing. Until it has to end.
I'm probably going to see my amazing person a total of a day after this week. And I'm going three months of summer without seeing them as well. It's impossible to even comprehend.
People laugh at you behind your back for all the time you spend with this person. They ridicule you, they exclude you, they judge you.
My special person says it's because they're jealous. I think that sounds a little bit self-absorbed on their part. I do think they are jealous, but not of this person and how much time I get to spend with them.
I think they are jealous because they don't know how it feels to have such a pure friendship. Yes, there are boundaries to this, fences we can't climb or go around or destroy with wire cutters.
But we can still pass notes through the gaps. Notes written in invisible ink that only the other persons eyes can see.